and also the care group covenants... 1) the covenant of affirmation and acceptance : I pledge to accept you no matter what you have done, are doing, or will do. I may not agree with your every action, but i will attempt to love you as a child of God and do all i can to express God's affirming love. I need you. 2) the covenant of feedback : I will attempt to mirror back to you what i am hearing you say and what you are feeling. If this means risking pain for either of us, I will trust our relationship enough to take the risk, realising it is in speaking the truth in love that we will grow up in every way into Christ who is the head. I will try to express this feedback in a sensitive and controlled manner, in keeping with the circumstances. 3) the covenant of honesty : i agree to strive to become more open and honest person, to share my true opinions, feelings, struggles, joys and hurts... as well as i am able. i will trust you with all my dreams and problems. 4) the covenant of sensitivity : even as i desire to be known and understood by you, i pledge to be sensitive to you and your needs to the best of my availability. i will try to hear you, see your point of view, understand your feelings, and draw you out of possible discouragement or withdrawal. 5) the covenant of availability: everything i have - time, energy, possessions - is at your disposal if you have a need... to the limit of my resources. as a part of this availability, i pledge to meet with you in this group on a regular basis. 6) the covenant of prayer : i promise to pray for you regularly. 7) the covenant of confidentiality : i would keep whatever is shared within the confines of this group. however i acknowledge that our pastor is the shepherd of the flock, and we need o be accountable to him. i vow not to push you to share things about yourself that you would prefer to keep undisclosed. this will be my covenant to the people around me, especially my care group members..

i was reading the CLC1 book.. i chanced upon this.. characteristics of covenantal relationship found in DMM: courageous, persevering, full commitment, recognise God's anointing through covenantal friendship, spend time together, loyal, willing to sacrifice, not take advantage, trust, love and appreciation..

there one incident.. i just wanna blog about it.. my paternal side, i have 3 cousins of about the same age, who i am closer to.. they are aloysius, nigel and eleanor.. of these 3, nigel and eleanor are christians.. nigel is a strong christian.. eleanor, i didn't really find out much.. i tried inviting aloysius down to services / mcgs many times, but always got rejected, plus he is totally shut off to the idea of christianity.. i am really concerned about his salvation.. so yesterday or a few days ago, i was telling nigel about this.. He said what we can do is only to pray.. just a short convo.. He makes me feel that i am really not alone in this.. ya.. so i really thank God for this.. nigel is a testimony.. he really changed a lot after he became a christian, and his siblings and relatives saw the difference.. this coming 31st, there will be a gathering at one of my aunt's house.. gonna see him there.. so i am gonna ask him share to me how God has changed him.. omg.. i am so excited now!! =)

i wanna be a part of the march of the unqualified.. no one is perfect.. God uses those the weak, so that when he is strong, he can boldly say that it is God who made him strong, and also it will be more evident to the others around.. i have many many flaws in life.. but i really really want God to use me.. God, show me how i can serve you more.. in the area of pioneering, i really dunno what to do.. i am really very confused.. in camp, u told me, that i should pioneer, cuz i have to step out of my comfort zone, and courage, and i can use the little that i have.. i don't have much qualities, i'm aware of that.. what's stopping me is availability and lack of evangelism know-how.. i know these shouldn't stop me.. but i just can't help worrying.. from now, i am gonna ask til i receive an answer to all these.. =) God uses imperfect vessels.. God just told me.. He will equip me with whatever i need, so long as i have the faith..

anyway, zhu yin is sick.. so please pray for her, that she will recover by tml, and able to come for service.. through difficulties, it will increase her faith to a greater height..

i am so amazed by God.. He amazes me just everyday.. today one is like wow! God uses ppl to speak into your life.. because of one incident, i added rui xian in msn.. He really got gift of discernment.. for 2 days, the things he says is like wa-how-you-know.. before i added him, i dunno him very very well, like never share life with him de la.. cuz he's not in my cg.. but then, he said things that he wouldn't know.. cuz i never told him annything abt that before.. so i asked him how he know.. he said it was the holy spirit who prompted him.. and i have to agree, it's clearly the holy spirit.. especially for today, this particular topic we were talking about( i shan't say it out).. it's like he knew it.. whereas for the others who know about this- shee ting, nicole, michelle and cai xuan- is i told them de.. but rui xian just guess it right.. i was super shocked at that moment, but didn't express out.. but one thing for sure, it's God.. God is showing me something that perhaps i haven't realise.. so, i will continue praying about it, till God show me.. yep..

i read my past few posts.. it's kinda meaningless.. and why have i not post for a long time? first it's cuz i was too caught up with work, fail to put God in the centre and am too tired for anything else.. But God, i will balance my life well with u in the centre.. please keep me accountable to this.. before camp, i was really spiritually down, it's like i lost the purpose and meaning to life.. serious.. the feeling was like i was so lost.. but now, at least, i am back on track again, thank God for pulling me back into His love.. the praise and worship during the pre-christmas service really ministered to me.. There's this song that impacted me the most..

How could i live How could I live without You How would I survive Without Your love Without Your touch You're the One that heals me And cleanses my heart And sets me free Now i come right before You With my hands lifted up With my heart humbly bowed At Your work on the cross As You hang there and die You were paying the price For my life, For my life For Your love is higher than the heavens Deeper than the seas And all I want is You in my life No one else can satisfy my soul Can make me feel this way Only You Lord, only You

God spoke to me several things: 1) He reminded me again, the purpose for Him dying on the cross.. Not for any other reasons, but for our lives.. for my life.. (and yours too) this really touched me.. God questioned me, why am i living my life like this, why do i feel so insignificant? Have i not died for you? I've died for you on the cross so that u may be set free.. But why are u still dwelling in all those meaningless thoughts? I have already set u free, free from everything! I am in control of all things.. 2) He reminded me that no one else can satisfy my soul except Him.. I was reminded of all the times i failed, i was discouraged.. No one else knows how i feel, no one knows how much i struggles, except Him.. He is the only one who knows me inside out.. That is why only He can satisfy me.. i watched many dramas.. the dream guy kinda stuff is only in the show.. as a girl, i too yearn for those kinda trust, those kinda love.. as i was walking to nexus on saturday to help out in image, God reminded me.. He trust in me under all circumstances.. He is the only one who trust in me even when everyone don't believe in me.. He is the mighty hands that always protects me when things gone wrong.. He is the one that will hold on to this hand of mine, hence giving me the security.. No one can ever be like that, except in dramas, and except God.. Only God can make me feel this way... :) i really can't imagine life without Him totally.. Have you ever thought of your life purpose? The period of time when i was really leaving God out of the picture, i thought of that question.. Then i realised, life is meaningless and purposeless.. It's like work for the sake of living.. then why do i live? cuz i have to? then get married, have children, fall sick then die? what exactly am i living for.. Then now, when i have put God back into the picture, everything makes sense.. I live because God has created me in His perfect image, i live to serve Him and His kingdom.. He loves me, that why i live.. and also, the purpose is to bring this love that He has given to me and other fellow christians to the other people around me.. i have found this purpose, do you want to live life with a purpose? Taste the fruit before you comment.. This fruit is sweet, you will never regret "eating" this fruit..

finally i have found a time to blog.. haha.. camp was really fun, and the most important and fun part is that i have met God, and He touched my life.. i was really dead the week before camp.. dead as in spiritually.. the first day of camp was kinda wasted, i was somehow like the action potential curve, have not even reach the threshold.. after some talks, after quieten my heart, and softening of my heart, i have finally open my spiritual eyes and ears to listen to God. i realised i have ignored God those weeks.. many times, i failed to include Him in everything i do, that's how easily i got away.. After that, i was thinking, since this job is like hindering me, should i quit? but the thing is that God showed me several things.. Firstly, i had learnt to be independent.. and that ppl there are friendly, but not as understanding or as loving as my caregroup.. This is a fact i have to accept in the future when i enter the workforce.. so i should learnt it.. And also, by thinking of placing the books in whatever places, all those, i can't always rely on ppl, they will not be free the whole time to teach me all the things.. i have to learnt it myself.. and when i started working, i have a goal in mind.. i want to give people the best i can, i want to be a good salt and light, and am proud to be a christian! i want them to see Christ through me.. i tried opening spiritual conversations, though all failed, but i believe it'll work someday.. Pray hard.. i have to learnt to put God in the centre of my life every single minute.. i am so happy i bought the 2 books today.. one is about discipline, another about confidence and insecurities.. and also borrowed one from timothy on evangelism.. hope all these help.. i seldom buy books, cuz they are like so ex! but it's worth the investment if it helps me grow more in God.. yea..

Today the evax was fun! though we started early, but only 5 possible contacts after several hours, i ended at 7 plus.. i was determined to complete all the surveys forms, with the possible contacts.. so many rejections i have to face, but i kept praying for suitable ppl.. hopefully, when i contact them, they will be willing to at least come.. disappointed with the little contacts i have obtained, but give thanks to God who helped me source for the right ppl, and developed my patience in finding the few ppl in that long hours, when my legs are breaking (thnx to my heels), and also thank God for providing the not-so-hot weather, and also thank God for giving me that determined attitude.. when it comes to things like that, i hate to give up just like that.. i told myself, if i never complete the few survey forms i was given with the possible contacts, i will not eat.. so when the others went to eat, i continued looking.. luckily, zhu yin accompanied me.. Thank God for her, i know she was hungry at that point of time too.. hopefully, this attitude will remain for the other things i do too..

desperate for growth.. life w/o growth, i feel so irritated.. but i need more discipline.. no more procrastination.. remind me also ok?

God, i need the assurance again.. that it's never by mistake.. i fear.. is it me that is really not up to standard to do it? help me to gain back that confidence of helping ppl to grow.. i know it will be done.. i will show u that i am serious about this, by proving it with actions, other than prayer.. 21 days.. short, but possible..

Looking forward to the end of A levels.. who will not be.. i am so disappointed with myself.. normally, during exam periods, i will really grow much more.. but during this A levels especially, i don't seem to grow as much.. (excluding the sermons) i feel so wasted.. A level is a real good time for me to grow, yet i have wasted it.. how? i feel that my dependence on God during this period is insufficient.. That keeps me thinking of the results.. that i will not do well.. i never put in much effort & reap what u sow.. so, i won't do well? haix.. disappointed i may be, but i am not gonna let this affect the remaining walk.. God, i need the courage and strength..

was trying to change the blogskin! stupid me, tried for sosososo long, until now, still can't.. thnx to si qin, who changed this for me.. thank you!! haha.. i am a computer-idiot..

definition of: Good - right; proper; fit Bad - inadequate or below standard; not satisfactory for use are we leading a good or bad life? good life - serve its purpose well, bad life - meaningless life.. do we live according to our purpose? If no, then why? Do you have a purpose in life? What are u living for?

i was thinking about baptism day last time(2nd march 08).. a wonderful & happy commitment to the great great God..

from left to right(top to bottom): 1) Joyce(me) -- Elise 2) Cai Xuan -- Joanne 3) Amanda -- Chloe 4) Kang Li -- Joshuarina 5) Li Tin -- Jona 6) Nicole -- Esther 7) Chicky -- Benedict

1 word/vision from you is better than thousand of words from people..

Oh man! Today's service was great!! the Praise & worship was great!! and the sermon is so awesome! pastor brendan kirby preach with the uber high energy level & with that great faith in God.. the scientific evidence are just so amazing.. God is just so awesome & amazing.. i didn't know there were so many galaxies.. and i really understand how complex is the human body.. if human body is not complex, i can pass bio with flying colours le.. haha.. at least i understand the sermon, the ATPase, the mRNA synthesis, the translation.. haha.. i guess si qin, michelle, bryan, vincent, they all dunno.. haha! see bio is good rite? lol.. Joking! everything we studied is what God create.. (phrasing is weird) Michelle! Really thanks for that heart-to-heart talk man! Shall have more next time.. haha.. Let's overcome it together!! WITH GOD!! Yea!!

Super slack now! how? after the econs paper, it feels as though A levels has ended.. but i still have another week to go.. God, give the the motivation to study again.. Remind me the purpose of studying..

Sleeping less than 7.5 hours a night was associated with a 33 per cent higher rate of cardiovascular incidents such as strokes and heart attacks, according to a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association's Archives of Internal Medicine. [i am gonna have that disease sooner or later.. lol..] We found that, overall, women who had a history of migraines had a 30 per cent lower risk of breast cancer compared to women who did not have a history of such headaches," said Christopher Li, a breast-cancer epidemiologist and associate member of the Hutchinson Center's Public Health Sciences Division in Seattle, Washington. [I got 30% lower risk of getting breast cancer.. lol..] Those who ate both quickly and to satiety were three times likelier to be overweight. [haha.. i eat slow but full, so less likely to get overweight..] Drinking warm milk, or taking a warm bath before bedtime, might also help. Explained Dr Lim: “The warm milk causes your body temperature to rise. When the body temperature cools, there is a sleep-inducing effect.” [no wonder everytime after i bathe (with warm water always), i feel so comfortable to sleep.. ] Tryptophan helps the body to produce serotonin, the “mood-lifting” brain chemical that makes a person feel good. “a little protein” raises tryptophan levels in the body. complex carbohydrates — found in whole grains, potatoes, pumpkin and yam — allow the body to uptake and metabolise tryptophan into serotonin more efficiently. [i love potatoes.. =) shld eat with almond next time.. so of u see me super high, u'll know why..]

The power of Your Name

The power of Your Name

Surely children weren't made for the streets And fathers were not made to leave Surely this isn't how it should be Let Your Kingdom come Surely nations were not made for war Or the broken meant to be ignored Surely this just can't be what You saw Let Your Kingdom come Here in my heart I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feetI will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name Surely life wasn't made to regret And the lost were not made to forget Surely faith without action is dead Let Your Kingdom come Lord break this heart I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feet I will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name Your Name Is a shelter for the hurting Jesus Your Name Is a refuge for the weak Only Your Name Can redeem the undeserving Jesus Your Name Holds everything I need I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feet I will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name

Today Is The Day

Today Is The Day

Here we go! Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh I’m casting my cares aside I’m leaving my past behind I’m setting my heart and mind on You Jesus I’m reaching my hand to Yours Believing there’s so much more Knowing that all You have in store for me is good Is good Chorus: Today is the day You have made I will rejoice and be glad in it Today is the day You have made I will rejoice and be glad in it And I won’t worry about tomorrow I’m trusting in what You say Today is the day Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Today is the day Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh I putting my fears aside I’m leaving my doubts behind I’m giving my hopes and dreams to You Jesus I’m reaching my hand to Yours Believing there’s so much more Knowing that all You have in store for me is good Is good I will stand upon Your truth. (I will stand upon Your truth) And all my days I’ll live for You (And all my days I’ll live for You)

Struggle, struggle, struggle

STRUGGLE LOTS with studies and emotions!! i may have lots of careless mistakes, i may not even do well for A's.. though all these are unpleasant, but i am still happy, i still wanna thank God for everything.. His grace is sufficient.. I am just so thankful that no matter what, God is always with me.. I am assured.. And another thing is that I am so glad that God looks into my heart, and does not look at me with judgmental eyes.. He won't accuse me of the things i have not done.. and He is all powerful yet humble.. I admit i may be prideful in some areas, but i certainly dislike ppl who boast.. seriously, i HATE that attitude! It may be my "over-sensitivity" acting up again (waa.. like some illness), but i do feel very very very uneasy.. can't ppl just be more sensitive to the ppl around? is it that difficult? boastful? if u wanna boast, boast in your weakness!!

from's bryan's blog: "to make you bigger would be to make myself smaller

the act of placing my desires below your will

to put my comfort zone below people

it is to place emotions below family

the decision to place laziness below studying for you" all applies to me! i should follow.. at times, i tend to compromise a lot.. but compromise does not make me follow the path i should walk on.. yes, God will bless u, God will make a way, but i should do my best too! Why should God bless a lazy person? i am not saying He can't.. He has given His one and only Son, what more can He not give? But i don't deserve anything, everything i have today, it's by His grace.. that is also why God said that His grace is sufficient.. [jeremiah 2:17] have u not brought this on yourselves by forsaking the Lord when He led u in the way?

The bottom line, "What Would Jesus Do?"

Jeremiah 32:17

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

this usher team is totally fun to be with, everyone is serving, and crappy.. one of the most recent (today) stupid thing that we do is the that we're celebrating the birthdays of 4 ushers... one of them bought the cake, and the other bought the cards.. it's like.... i choose my own cake/i choose my own card.. haha.. james, who came at a later time, was shocked to hear that.. haha..

(photo w/o james and caryn)

oh my.. when i zoom into the pic, i realised, everyone is smiling, except timothy, trying to act cool.. (oops.. sry for suaning u again.. lol..) let's take photos every week..so nice..

[2 Corinthians 4] Treasures in Jars of Clay 1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

quote of wisdom from nicole (lol): "when we've exhausted our physical means, it's time for God's weapons to come out" so so so true!!

my parents celebrated my birthday with me too (despite having exams the next day), they ordered pizzas.. so happy.. like i feel so blessed.. very blessed.. and my auntie bake for me these two cakes.. so nice.. and so nice to eat.. and so pretty... =)

Celebrated my birthday with the Caregroup yesterday.. haha.. so fun.. so sweet!!! Thank you all.. after the normal caregroup, i was expecting like a game then celebration.. who knows, i got cheated... Bryan was so serious that time, when he asks us all to close our eyes and think of the questions he asks.. after he say and say and say, in the end say birthday.. after a while, i forgot wad he asks, but the processing was a bit slow at that moment.. haha.. i got fooled.. haha.. and i think anointing pass down! shee ting also thought it was serious de.. and she also close her eyes, and seriously think abt it.. the others "not-so-spiritual" ones(joking..) never close their eyes loh, den laugh at me somemore.. no wonder when bryan took out his phone, and he wanted to say those questions, but i look at the screen got nothing but the desktop.. never think of that.. haha.. but it's fun..!! and the board pui wah, amanda and wei en did was very nice.. they never tear our the price tag though.. and the necklace too was nice.. amanda says the shiny cross means shine for Christ.. so meaningful.. and the "our daily bread thing".. is also very nice.. next time can read it day-by-day... yea.. train my discipline too.. haha.. this is the card they gave me.... so pretty rite? the cardboard itself is like so expensive le la.. $4.30.. from popular.. lol.. the pot is in the jars of clay.. in [2 corinthians 4].. in the above few posts.. and this.. the daily bread thing.. i thing the whole set is like so cute.. and got the god's promises too..next is this necklace.. they know i like all these stuff, then they buy for me.. so sweet.. i wore it to service today.. so nice.. shiny shiny, and it's a cross.. Thank you ppl!! Love u all!! Through the affirmation, i realised a lot more about myself.. haha.. i didn't know i was like that.. the part on child of god, and the simple love de.. haha.. lol.. it's me, and i dunno abt myself, but others know.. lol.. maybe i do without knowing ba.. cool lei.. or maybe i am too slow to process.. haha.. not that i dunno what i am doing...

Today is the day the doctors take me out from my mother's womb.. haha! celebrating birthday is fun.. i just dun like the sing birthday song part... it make me feel super weird/pai seh.. (though i have gone through it 18 times) God.. how to celebrate my birthday with you? Despite all the struggles in studies??? my wishes: - really want a breakthrough in my "patience" with everything - want to score well in A's.. (though it seems like it's impossible now) - really hope that my family can come to know God someday - really hope that the Cg will grow as one, and more ppl will come and join us.. the feeling of growing together is fun. haha! like in kindergarten like that.. haha - want marie to grow much more.. really hope that i can meet her someday - for myself, want to be more christ-like.. slow to anger, slow to speak, but quick to listen.. - wanna bring more ppl to know god.. though it seems like it always fail...

From James' blog.. Even he says it's difficult.. man! The confessions of a biology student.

November 5, 2008, 9:28 pm Filed under: Musings.

I’d say that was one crazy paper. (i agree!!!)

I think it’s perfectly fine to be affected by the outcome of the paper. (after all, you could tell from the faces of the people walking out of the exam hall) If I wasn’t affected at all, chances are, I’m dreaming. But I think it’s terribly important for us Christians, especially, to know when we are being concerned and when we step across the line to being worried.

And I think I can’t emphasize more on the fact that because of things like this that happen (well hopefully no more crazily tough papers ahead, but in case there are…) all the more I need to pray, all the more I need to spend time with God.

If I can spend 1 hour glued to the television set, then surely 1 hour of quiet time is not too demanding, right? If I can spend hours being worrying, complaining and talking about how the paper was so tough, then surely spending some time with God is not too much to ask for. (i should do this more!)

I’ve said this and I’d say this to myself and to God again: I’m gonna trust You with everything. Doors You open, no one can shut. Doors that You shut, no one can open. God, lead me to wherever You deem best and fit of my life, assure me of Your sovereign plan. I pray for Your peace that no man can snatch, no exam can rob and no amount of time may steal from.

Keep going ya’ll!

have your way

This Yearning Deep Within Me Reaches Out To You Your Oil Of Joy For Mourning Soaks Me Makes Me New Chorus: And I Will Go To Your Secret Place Bow My Knee To Your Glorious Throne Have Your Way In My Heart, Oh Lord Have Your Way I Need You, Holy Spirit Fire To My Soul Consume My Total Being Jesus Take Control

MUST READ! VERY AMAZING!!!

i think it's so amazing today.. (despite that stupid paper!) firstly, i keep grumbling to God, and i even doubt Him.. but u know what, when i questioned Him, He answered.. (can be referred to the sermon) i asked a lot a lot of questions, why this why that, why why why! after i finish asking a qns, He answered.. and He answered all my questions.. in the end, i feel like whoa, i got nothing to say le la.. cuz He really answers everything.. my heart hardened again, i doubt again.. is it really you or my mind? so i somehow didn't take it to heart, but i take it to mind.. (dunno how to express this) then, i just read bryan's blog, out of all the blogs that i can click on. it's like a prompting for me to go read his blog while i am struggling to complete all the bio(killer) chapters.. and i was rather shocked.. or quite shocked.. it's the same thing God told me.. He knew i nvr take it to heart.. this is a part of Bryan's post today: "i heard from some math paper wasn't as easy. =/ i have no idea how to encourage you guys but hey, i know everything will be alright yeh?

anyway, when you look up into the sky tml morning, take time to realise how small you just are. then you should take the time to comprehen just how big God is. then you will began to realise just how small your problem should be. just where is your magnifying glass today?" God told me at around 6 plus 7 pm, He asked me, how big is your problem? then He reminded me of this story i read before.. about a poor beggar outside a rich man's house.. but when they died, the beggar goes heaven, and the rich man is in hell........ it doesn't matter how much u had fare on earth, the only thing that matters to God is whether u love Him, and choose to obey Him.. and also, He ask me to take Him out of that box i always place Him in.. i always limit God, hence limiting how much He can work in my life.. Magnify God, not magnify the problems(in previous sermon) This really shows how much God use many many ways to tell you that He is the one talking to you, and He wants to guide you and wants to convey His words to you.. He'll use many ways, till u get the message.. Secondly is Vincent.. He is also another one online, and got nothing to do.. after the paper, i was super frustrated, super disappointed -> in a very very bad mood, that i feel like really punching someone hard(in my heart).. He encourages me, that God will make a way.. When God told me to take Him out of that box, he also reminds me that He will make a way.. But that time i chose to doubt Him right, He uses vincent to say this.. Wahaha! i don't feel that moody anymore! instead i feel refreshed, or rather, very amazed by God and what He has done.. COOL!!!

a few more days is the day God breath His breathe into me.. aiya.. i dunno how to phrase it.. excited for that day to come.. but that excitement died down due to CHEM PAPER 3.. haix.. how can i have the mood to celebrate when the next day got stats paper? grrr... maths used to be my favourite subject, a subject that i can do well.. but that was a thing of the past! (last year) now, i just hope for the best.. i trust my results into God's hands.. He will make a way!

start with the end in mind!! 20th november here i come we are already victorious from the start God is in control i know my future's in God's hand why am i still afraid? why do i still fear uncertainties? God, help me through this.. remind me time and again that you are in control. let me carve this in my heart You are real, and anything is possible.. i will trust in your plan.. but assure me once again, that whatever the plan is, it's good for me..

Voice Of Truth - Casting Crowns

Life transformation

Here I am, Oh God I bring this sacrifice – my open heart. I offer up my life. I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me I know Your love dispels all my fears.

Through the storm I will hold on Lord And by faith, I will walk on, Lord Then I’ll see beyond my calvary one day, And I will be complete in You

wad's the purpose of ur life? why are u even living in this world? just to eat, work, live and die? lol.. i have found mine quite some time ago.. u too, should go and find the purpose of your life.. =)

He Loved You So Much!

Jesus died what might be the most excruciatingly painful death ever endured by a man. A crown of thorns was crushed into His head, blood running into his eyes, nose, and mouth, blinding and choking Him. Nails were driven through His hands and feet. As the cross was dropped cruelly into its socket in the ground, His flesh tore with searing pain. A spear pierced His side. Blood emptied from every wound until each cell in His body screamed for water and nourishment.

But, incredible as it may seem, He endured still greater pain than this.

Remember, though fully man, He was also perfect God. He could not endure to look on sin with any semblance of approval. Now, he actually bore our sin in His own body on the tree. He became sin for us.

All mankind’s awful sins were placed on Jesus’ perfect person so that Father God had to turn His back on Jesus the Son, through no fault of either of them.

From eternity past the Son had always been in perfect loving harmony with God the Father.

Now, He had to cry out in the most awful distress, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Mark 15:34) We can’t begin to fathom the terrible agony that all this entailed for both of them.

Jesus experienced immeasurable moral imperfection replacing the absolute moral perfection that had always been His from eternity. This was pain beyond imagining and God the Father’s limitless love for Him was reduced to total rejection. This was inner pain unfathomable.

Such suffering beyond understanding or expression, He suffered for you!

Who (Jesus) bore our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes you were healed. (I Peter 2:24).

He has made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. (I Corinthians 5:21).

Therefore, we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard. . . How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation. (Hebrews 2:1-3).

The Price of Love

There was once a big turntable bridge spanning a large river.

Most of the time, the bridge sat with its length running parallel to the river so ships could pass freely on both sides of it.

Whenever a train was expected, the bridge was turned to cross the river, then locked securely in position to allow the train safe passage.

A switchman sat in a little shack on one side of the river. From there he could operate the controls.

One evening the switchman turned to the controls to allow the last train of the day to cross. He got the bridge into position without difficulty. But, to his horror, the locking

mechanism wouldn’t work. Unless the tracks locked securely, the train would surely jump the track and go crashing into the river with its cargo of human passengers. For just such an emergency there was a manual locking lever on the far side of the river.

Knowing there was no time to waste, he hurried to it. But to get it to work, he had to hold the lever firmly in position as the train roared on.

Then he heard a sound that made his blood run cold: “Daddy, where are you?” His four-year-old son was crossing the bridge to look for him.

The father’s first impulse was to call to the child, “Run! Run!” But the train was too close, the tiny legs would never get the child across the bridge in time.

Oh, how he wanted to let go the lever, snatch the child into his arms and carry him to safety. But he’d never make it back to the lever on time. Either the people in the train or his little son must die.

His heart breaking, he held the lever in position until the train passed safely.

No one aboard was aware of the tiny, broken body thrown mercilessly into the river by the rushing train. Nor were they aware of the pitiful figure of the sobbing man still clinging tightly to the lever. They didn’t see the grief-stricken father dragging himself home to tell his wife he had sacrificed their son to save the train load of passengers he didn’t even know.

Now, imagine what our loving heavenly Father must have felt when he sacrificed his perfect Son to save even those who reject Him and His love?

Love indeed.

Love beyond comprehension.

Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us. . . . In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Here in is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation (sacrifice) for our sins. . . . We love him because he first loved us. (I John 3:1; 4:9-11,19).

http://www.ipersonic.com/index.html that's a personality test.. i'm SD.. haha.. what are u? i think this test results is somewhat true except for the i am fond of animals that part, and very good with children.. and the part that i like literature, writing, animals..

Sensitive Doer (SD)

Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive. Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life. Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points. Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly. Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts - quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children. As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs - often more than to their own. However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, sensitive, peace-loving, reserved, gentle, good-natured, independent, empathetic, friendly, playful, carefree, sympathetic, relaxed, quiet, modest, pleasure-loving, loyal, obliging, caring, helpful, optimistic

These subjects could interest you

art, music, craftwork, garden work, animals, nature, literature, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, handicrafts, writing

tagged by Nic. perhaps i'm just to bored, that's why i am willing to do this... lol.. a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation. b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question. 1) The age you will be on your next birthday: -and the worst thing is that it'll be during A levels, this really is my worst birthday man.. - i've always dreamt of turning 18 or 16 when i was younger, but when the time really comes, it doesn't seem much of a difference.. 2) A place you will like to travel to: to brazil to see the jesus statue.. but the place i really wish to go is.. korea!! 3) Your favourite place: this should be our favourite place ba.. every saturday we'll be here.. 4) Your favourite food: yoshi salmon!! anything spicy! laksa, curry noodles.. 5) Your favourite pet: they just look cute.. i dun really like to own a pet.. cuz they may bite, they bark(so noisy), and they anyhow excrete.. 6) Your favourite colour combination: omg.. this room is super beautiful!! looks like my dream room.. gorgeous!! 7) Your favourite piece of clothing: office wear! haha.. those who know me well enough will know.. 8) Your all time favourite song: just any praise and worship songs will do.. there's too many to be named... 9) Your all time favourite TV show: any shows la.. but i like those kinda shows that features police/nurse/doctors.. 10) The town in which you live: i'm the sengkang girl.. (this is what some ppl call me -.-) i can't find any nice pics for sengkang... 11) Your screen name / nickname: they call me kong jie... in other words, air stewardess.. and the meaning behind this, shall not be mentioned.. =) the air stewardess in this picture is very pretty.. 12) Your first job: i'll never wanna do it again... that's so tiring.. 13) Your dream job: policewoman or nurse but given my current grades, this dream job is vanished.. =) 14) A bad habit you have: this one i think u all know what it means.. this is not exactly a habit. cuz i also dun want it.. [thnx to the apinun, ppl start saying i peirce my nose] notice what the girl is doing? cannot see nvm.. but i realise this is a bad habit.. lol.. the rest shall not be mentioned.. [thnx to the bubble tea] 15) Your worst fear: insects!! any kind of insects! they are so yucky.. 16) The one thing you will like to do before you die: i would like to go on a mission trip..

http://donghaeng.net/english/flash/flash27.htm i love all the videos.. very impactful..

Chris Tomlin - How Can I Keep From Singing

There is an endless song Echoes in my soul I hear the music ring And though the storms may come I am holding on To the rock I cling Chorus: How can I keep from singing Your praise How can I ever say enough How amazing is Your love How can I keep from shouting Your name I know I am loved by the King And it makes my heart want to sing I will lift my eyes In the darkest night For I know my Savior lives And I will walk with You Knowing You'll see me through And sing the songs You give Chorus: I can sing in the troubled times Sing when I win I can sing when I lose my step And fall down again I can sing 'cause You pick me up Sing 'cause You're there I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord When I call to You in prayer I can sing with my last breath Sing for I know That I'll sing with the angels And the saints around the throne I love this song! super meaningful. sing in all circumstances, for God is always there to help!

http://donghaeng.net/english/main.htm

Last time i prayed for a burden. Without much realisation, God gave me a big burden. My friends. This service i broke down, nothing to do with sermon. But the thought of the souls i will bring to heaven. I questioned myself, how many souls have i saved? The people i've brought to church, how many have stayed? None. Ansel? Keeps things to himself. i really dunno what to do, but to pray for him. These things are not up to me, only God has the ability to change this kinda circumstances, and only God can change ppl's hearts, i can't. The feeling of being responsible for the SOUL of my friends. You know how heavy is that burden? Then think again, how much God feels for ALL the lost souls in the WORLD? Shouldn't we continue saving? Should we even stop? When we stop evangelising, how many souls are lost? Many, i would say. Ask God for these kinda burdens, fill youe hearts with these burdens, see things through God's eyes, feel things with God's heartbeat. Think of how much God will feel. i bet u wouldn't sit there and do nothing.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with much ... If you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you your own?" - Luke 16:10-12 (NIV)

i want my faith, my walk with God to be like this, and not, Up, Up and Up! [ignore all the words in the diagram]

Hey.. i am finding someone who was like the current me, where speaking out(in faith) is difficult.. And will get nervous easily when speaking, if the group is too big.. But has overcome this problem already.. Because, i wanna find out, how exactly did u manage to overcome it.. Lol.. cuz i am still struggling with this! Do tell me.. =)

Many times i failed God, i walked on my own path, and not God's path. Sorry Lord. Once again, i commit myself into your mighty hands. Protect me from the things that will pull me away from you, block the things that will cause me to stumble and fall. The feeling of being far away from you, the feeling of not meeting you, the feeling of not able to hear your whisper, is not at all pleasant! Lord, help me out in my walk with you. Give me to courage, the strength to persevere. Strengthen my faith. I want to walk with you everyday of my life, to talk with you in the good and the strife. i pray that nothing can keep us apart, You are the lover of my heart. you are the only one who will look at our hearts.

...FROM THE INSIDE OUT... A thousand times I've failed Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again I'm caught in Your grace Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame Your will above all else My purpose remains The art of losing myself In bringing You praise Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame In my heart and my soul Lord I give You control Consume me from the inside out Lord let justice and praise Become my embrace To love you from the inside out

thank you for showing me Isaiah chapter 1.. thank you for reminding me about how much i failed to understand and obey your words, where i end up getting hurt.. i can see how much you love us when u said that i reared children and brought them up, but they rebelled against me. i may not understand fully how u feel, but i know it must have hurt u and disappoint u a lot. many times, when i fail to understand ur plans, i chose to walk on my own path. sorry god.i give u my heart and my soul, i give u control. change me, help to to love u from the inside out..

Courage.. That's what i lack.. That's also what i need to glorify the KOG.. Ask and it'll be given..

Lover of my heart

All I want is to see Your face

All I need is a moment of grace

It is in You, that I have the faith

To stand up and be strong

‘Cause I know I’m no longer bound

It is in You that I have found

Peace of mind, freedom from my sin

And the power to love and forgive

Chorus:

I want to walk with You

Everyday of my life

To talk with You

In the good and the strife

You’re my Friend

You’re my Father

For all time

Nothing can keep us apart

You’re the lover of my Heart

i realise i worry a lot this few weeks.. i feel so burdened.. 1) when i bring ansel to church.. whether he will convert, whether he feel god, whether he has really accepted christ, whether he has met god, whether he wants to commit to god, whether he wanna joins the group, etc etc.. 2) about my brother in hospital..[but he's getting well, will be discharged tml] whether he's getting well, whether he will feel better, whether he'll feel loved, whether he'll recover, whether his pain will be gone, whether he knows god, whether he wanna accept christ, whether i am able to bring him to know god, etc etc 3) jontay's cousin, thuogh i dunno him, but i found out my mum know his cousin's mum.. whether he will recover even when the doctors know nothing much abt the illness, whether the parents will accept christ, whether they'll trust in god, etc etc 4) about CG, whether ppl has met god, whether they have feel they are not left out, whether they feel loved, whether they are in tune with god, etc etc 5) studies.. whether i can do well in A levels with the current sucky results, whether i am able to enter uni, whether i can be a good salt and light, etc etc.. 6) my friends.. whether i can bring them to know god, whether i can open up their hearts, whether i am able to show them how great is god, etc etc 7) myself.. whether the songs i am choosing is right, whether the songs i am choosing are able to minister to the ppl, whether i am staying close with god, whether i am able to be a good salt and light for god, whether i can be what god has created me to be, whether i really trust god for all circumstances, etc etc. So much worries, no wonder i get so many pimples! but i rmb one sermon/teaching.. you'll worry because u dun trust in god's plan. u feel insecure of the future. we must rmb that god is always in control, no matter the outcome/circumstances. GOD IS IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING.. rmb that.. now that i've know it in my mind, i have to apply it into my heart.. i shall throw my worries to god, for he says [1 Peter 5:7] Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Today is my MOST embarrassing day!! so many weird things happen.. 3 times i got scare by some things for nothing.. That basket with newspaper, that fish on my plate, that SHEETING! haix.. i feel so stupid now! it's like there should be nothing to get shock de, but i dunno why my body just react that way.. WHY?! DA BIAN! 3 times! fish, point at wall, "little red riding hood"..

By Your Wondrous Love By your wondrous love By your amazing grace By your precious blood All my life's forever changed Saviour of my soul Your touch has made me whole Your kingdom lives in me My heart is filled with joy and peace Chorus: Now I am your own I lift my hands and sing I bow before your throne And worship You my glorious King Now I am redeemed My soul shall ever be You bled and died for me And You alone are worthy Bridge: Worthy, worthy Worthy is the lamb of God Holy, holy Holy is the lamb of God

We Are The Reason As little children we would dream of Christmas morn Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find But we never realized a baby born one blessed night Gave us the greatest gift of our lives *We were the reason that He gave His life We were the reason that He suffered and died To a world that was lost He gave all He could give To show us the reason to live As the years went by we learned more about gifts The giving of ourselves and what that means On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain All because of love All because of love *Chorus I finally found the reason for living It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him) And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying) I’ll be giving my all just for Him, for Him (every thing for Him) We are the reason that He gave His life We are the reason that He suffered and died To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all) To show us the reason to live #He is the reason to live (don’t you know do you know the reason that he came, oh he came to save us when he gave his life for us) he suffered and died To a world that was lost He gave everything (everything that He had He gave) To show us the reason to live *chorus + # together Don’t know how I could thank Jesus all that he had all.. *chorus + # together

was reading james' blog some time ago, i think in the morning, den this paragraph really reminded me quite a lot of things..

" and I’m highlighting this in my notes: ‘we cannot underestimate what we’re doing, it has significance on our people’. every bit, bit by bit. one day, those bits and pieces will piece together and finally complete God’s work. to those who are worrying, keep holding on, keep believing, because:

Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” "

Many times, i always think i am insignificant, no matter what i do is always insignificant.. That really lower my self-confidence and self-esteem a lot.. So when i was reading james' blog, and i read this, i remembered this verse.. [1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 12 - 31] 4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire the greater gifts.

as what james said, every bit, bit by bit. one day, those bits and pieces will piece together and finally complete God’s work. Like a jigsaw puzzle, what does 1 piece of the puzzle means? seems nothing? but think again, without it, how can u complete a picture? Every effort, every things we does, seems like nothing in the kingdom.. Not exactly nothing, but it seems just so minute (like an ant in the garden.. haha.. i dun like ants..) But in the end, it could be just that effort that we made, that we have made certain things possible.. For example(just an example), u are wearing a cross pendant, and on the bus, u gave up ur seat to an elderly.. She sees the cross, and that leaves an impression that christians are good.. That small little effort could have planted a good seed in her.. Who knows, she will get converted.. Everything is possible with that small little effort.. Yup..

Why God places us in a community? Not only to feed off one another's passion, but also to help one another grow stronger in God.. Like how to tackle the problems u are facing.. Recently, like a few days ago, many things happen, it makes me somehow grow much much lesser in God.. Today had shepherding.. I can either choose to share or not to share, everyone has their choices.. But God places us in a community, so we can help one another rite? When we start to think negatively, we tend to see things mainly on the pessimistic side.. So there's this chinese saying "pang guan ze kan de zui qing" (not very sure of the exact words, but it means that those around u can see much clearer than u.. (smth like that, if u understand) So we must share, so that the problems we faced will not hinder us from our walk with God.. i was somehow struggling to share that problem, but thank God i shared.. And at least, now i can see things on a much clearer perspective.. Friday here i come.. Emmanuel..

Trading my sorrows

I'm trading my sorrow I'm trading my shame I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord I'm trading my sickness I'm trading my pain I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

Chorus: And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned Struck down but not destroyed I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure And his joy's gonna be my strength Though the sorrow may last for the night His joy comes with the morning

God will make a way

God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me

He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness He'll lead me And rivers in the desert will I see Heaven and earth will fade But His word will still remain He will do something new today.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This is a rather old song.. heard it long ago.. But today, as in just, when looking through iTunes, i chanced upon this song.. i played.. i am so touched and so glad that God will never leave me or forsake me.. i am really touched to tears.. this just hits me so much so much so much.. i dunno how to describe.. again, His assurance for me, in this most depressing moments in my life.. again and again He assured me.. Lord, i am sorry for making u disappointed again and again.. Fail to bring that glory to your kingdom.. I will entrust all to ur hands.. ALL! i will try, definitely.. i believe YOU will make a way for me.. You have won my heart!! You are the only one who gave up your life for me.. No one else does.. You bear all the guilt and shame, just for all of us! Thank You Lord! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You laid aside Your majesty

You laid aside Your majesty Gave up everything for me Suffered at the hands of those You have created You took all my guilt and shame When You died and rose again Now today You reign in heaven and earth exalted I really want to worship You my God You have won my heart and I am Yours Forever and ever I will love You You are the only one who died for me Gave Your life to set me free So I lift my voice to you in adoration