Sunday, September 27

today, god showed me a picture/vision during worship.. cuz i was worrying abt my sheep's problem. kinda dunno what exactly should i do.. plus i also cannot really cope with my studies.. so everything add together = stressed out... so i kept asking god since thurs. today me showed me something. he showed me a long stretch of road, which represents my whole christian life. this is not an ordinary road you see on the expressway.. rather, this road has smooth portions, the slightly rough portion, and those that are very rough.. christian life is not all smooth-sailing.. when jesus encounter a problem, he will stop, kneel down, and pray desperately... even if the road is rough, it's pain to kneel on it, but still, he will do so.. so i was reflecting.. do i pray enough? so i pray desperately? whenever i encounter a problem, did i stop to pray?

Friday, September 25

God, i really need the re-assurance, the care, the support, the encouragement..

Wednesday, September 23

i have no confidence at all.. not to blame anyone.. but every time, when i think something is ok, the other person will say it's not good, or cannot, etc.. not that i want them to fully agree also.. it makes me afraid to try to think more.. fear.. i know i shouldn't fear. but just cannot help it la.. haix.. disappointed at myself..
so much to read! so much that i find it impossible to finish it before exams, with so many commitments.. super super stress.. there was once, i was dragging my feet to one of the cg.. i really dun feel like going, just because of studies.. but every time i drag my feet to cg/unit/service, at the end of it, i never regretted going. cuz i feel ministered by God (every time) i know that if i never go, i will regret. weird.. but yup.. amazing.. it's really hard to balance.. i was thinking, how i endure all these things? the cost of following Jesus is so so high.. but still, i am willing to give in my all.. God, i am willing.. just guide me every single time when i feel stress/when i feel that i cannot cope with my studies and all..

Tuesday, September 15

a pure heart, that's what i long for, a heart that follows hard after thee.. a heart that hides your word, so that sin will not come in, a heart that's undivided, one you rule and reign.. a hearts that beats compassion that pleases u my lord, sweet aroma of worship that rises to your throne.

Monday, September 7

Friday, September 4

i realised after school term has started, there are more things to do, definitely very very stressful.. i could not catch up with the pace, and there's lots and lots of readings, preparation to do.. i was really very very afraid that i will not be able to do well, and also i scared that i will not shine for his kingdom when my results are bad.. i was so afraid of this and that, worrying about everything, that i kinda left God out while i am studying.. i really wanna thank God for being faithful, constantly assuring me, consoling me.. every service, cg/unit/subd meet, God will remind me of at least one promise.. this time round, during subd He told me, "remember my child, what i want u to give is what you have, give your best with your ability, i will do the rest.." i totally forgot about this while i was trying to study(nth went in though).. "my yoke is lighter, I'm the everlasting God, i can do all things" i just wanna rely on Him for the strength, the wisdom... i really wanna persevere, remember and focus on the end-goal,not those obstacles which are temporal.. Hebrews 12:1-2.. i really wanna fix my eyes on Jesus, who is the author and perfecter of my faith..