today was a blessing.. i cannot go for any of the life of christ seminars. cuz tml lesson is at 8, and my parents will not allow. but thank God that tutorial at 8 was cancelled.. and lesson will start at 1pm instead.. so in the end, they allow me to go! so happy :D i think today's seminar i've learnt quite a lot.. the part on His disciples doubt God's power despite knowing Him and stayed with Him for 2 years plus.. This happen to me to.. in a way that, i have said i experienced God before, His love, promptings, etc. But when troubles/obstacles come, i do doubt.. then pastor also mentioned about God's character. Harsh on hypocrites & _(i forgot what is it)_, but gentle on sinners. i really feel quite blessed to have God as God.. If you dunno God, at least give it a try, you will never regret.. and the collest thing is the anti-thesis part, where Jesus brings new understanding to thesis.. i think that's cool... :)

this is a burden God drop me last time.. i have yet to post it.. but i think it's really very cool.. i was watching this drama called absolute boyfriend.. about this robot made to love just one person.. at the end, he can't go through life with this girl that he loves. and he chose the sacrificial way, which is to scrap himself and to let this girl find another love, so that she can love normally. there's one part about him deciding to wanna be scraped... his creator, a scientist, was super sad, cuz he created this robot, and after so so long, he has developed a bond with this robot, treating him as a human alr.. so like after the whole show end.. lol.. i go do my qt.. like partly thinking of the show, but one particular image keep flashing through my mind.. this image is the sadness on the face of the scientist, where his robot has to be scrapped. God use this to speak to me in 3 ways. First, He showed me that this scientist heart is a little like His heart.. scientist create robot, God create us.. so like everyone knows that on judgement day, only those who believe in Christ will be saved.. so the rest who doesn't believe or those that follow satan will go to hell, eternal death.. these people are also created by God. God doean't want to see this happening.. Of course, He hopes that everyone will go to heaven.. but God is just too.. He showed me how precious is everyone... My sheep, my family, my cgs, my friends, etc.. by that time i was rather broken down alr.. then after that i can clearly hear(not audibly) God saying ¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^a]">[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." i was taken aback. it's really very very clear to me.. i will never forget.. Go and make disciples.. go and reach out to people, freshman, family, friends,..... by placing the burden for family, he showed me that my attitude towards family members hasn't been very christ-like.. so like need a change in that area.. after everything, He showed me this picture of what will happened to unsaved people.. very scary image.. it's like people drowning in a red pool... it's either their own blood or the lake of burning sulphur.. but that's not the point la.. i just know i wouldn't want to see my family/friends/people from church to be in that last picture.. i am scared.. i wouldn't want to see my loved ones there! it's painful.. what's more God? we're all His loved ones.. all the more, He wants all to be saved.. so we should give in our best in everything we do, and in evangelising too.. make evangelising your habit.. evangelising can sometimes be just being a good salt & light..

woohoo.. i think the msn conversation with jean is so cool.. cuz she injure her leg, which i believe it's not by coincidence.. yup.. she was telling me it was super pain(outcome of not eating painkillers lol..) so i just took that step to ask her if she mind me praying for her over the msn.. she doesn't mind.. and she said come and bless me.. cool! so i prayed for her, and the next thing she asked me is to pray for her everyday... haha.. now she know that seniors and me were from same church, she understands the reason behind it.. and i think it is so cool! yup yup.. the part where it is a lil' disappointing is where she dun wanna come or rather still a little unwilling to come for service. one reason is becauese her family is catholic, so naturally, her mum doesn't want her to come to a christian church.. so the reason behind it is because they scared that we will convert her to christian.. and she wanna see her mood.. haha.. (later she mood swing how? lol.. jk) since God has brought this relationship to this level, i believe God will continue to grow this relationship to a deeper level.. i wanna trust God for more.. i really want more, for God to use me more to reach to the others, and also to give me more of His heartbeat..

5th august is my interview for scholarship at SGH.. i really do hope i will be able to get it.. so i do not need to worry much about expenses.. help me pray ok?

went for nursing orientation day today.. the most unexpected thing is to see jean hopping around with her left leg, as she injure her right toe.. and it's the lamest reason, cuz she accidentally kicked her bed stand.. then can't walk.. so after the briefings (we skip the tour), i accompanied her to the A&E.. it's just muscle injury/bruise only.. she went all out to do her boyfriend's birthday card la.. despite her current condition, can't even apply pressure on her right leg, she still go all the way to tampines to get people to write on that card.. lucky got another person accompany her to tampines.. but anyway, that's besides the point.. a few days ago, i opened my drawer and saw a new bible, still nicely in packaged.. wanted to give to a person who wanna come to know christ.. but so far, it's either they never come to know God/they alr have their bibles.. so today after i alighted at outram mrt and took the nel, around boon keng station, i forgot how, but i just suddenly thought of this wrapped bible in my drawer and what i wanted to do with it last time.. then i sense in my heart, wrap it, decorate it then give it to jean - when she's unhappy, feel down, afraid, or whatever circumstances, she can open the bible and read what God has promised her.. so i just started smsing her, if she has a bible, then she replied it was an old version (though all versions contain the same words, but i was just prompted to give her one), then i asked her if she will read the bible, she say never read.. but then i say i will give her one, then she replied if she has the time, then she will read.. so i think so cool la, next time can read bible with her, if she dun mind.. of course, must wait for the right timing too... yea.. Thank God for that prompting and that opportunity.. super happy =) anyway, i really wanna thank Ian for fetching us to the A&E, despite NUH being super near to NUS.. thank God for his serving heart, and the circumstances that enables him to be ablt to drive even for that short while.. really thank God for him.. thank God for the car too.. haha..

“Only one life and soon it will pass, only what’s done for Christ will last.” Exactly how long is our life? have we put in all our efforts in doing the things of eternal value? most importantly, do we see the value in doing these things, be it big or small things?

the most important factor of a relationship is love, best is unconditional love. then it's communication and trust.. and other factors, which i can't really think of at this time (brain dead).. not only dies this applies to friendships, it also applies to relationship with God.. not only do we have to trust God and love Him, we must also communicate with Him.. through prayer! i really wanna increase my time with God also.. one goal... i realise that when there are too many things on hand, my time with God will decrease, which is not good.. so have to pray more, depend in His strength more to do all the important things, depend on His power to change the hearts of hardened people and see miracles so long as we believe, rely on His love to touch people and to grow more, and closer to God than before. yea..

read this from a online devotion: The apostle Paul teaches that we are to work as though we are "working for the Lord and not for people." He's saying that no job is too small; no job is too menial; no job is too insignificant when you have the right motive and perspective. We should think, "I'm doing it for God; I'm doing this job as if I'm doing it for the Lord." I used to clean meat lockers in a butcher shop, and I would clean them as unto the Lord. Now, how do I know if I'm doing my work for the Lord? Two characteristics will show up in your attitude: excellence and enthusiasm. First, if I'm doing my work, not for the boss but for the Lord, I'll do it with excellence. That means I give it my best shot—I do the best I can because I'm not doing it for anyone's approval, except God's. I do it with excellence, being the best I can be. Second, I do my work with enthusiasm. I'm working for God, therefore, I do it with a cheerful attitude. "Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically" (Romans 12:11 NLT). When you are working with all your heart, motivated by the love of Christ, your work is transformed into an act of worship for God.

realise i super long haven post anything alr.. kinda dead.. this new cg is fun! just had the second cg today.. the activities was kinda different, but interesting.. today i shall post abt what i have learnt from sermon & what has impacted me ba.. since we did it for cg sermon-d today.. haha.. time to SHINE!! I can SHINE!! i always struggle from this problem.. belittling myself, which is equals to belittling God's creation. i always feel inadequate, not up to certain tasks, everyone is better than me i am not good, lack confidence.. but in actual fact, everyone is unique in his or her ways, God created everyone to be different so that each person can advance His kingdom in a certain way.. [this reminds me of one body, many parts, every part, be it big or small, significant or insignificant, is important. On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. <1 Corinthians 12:12-26>] this is the verse God reminded.. yup.. and also, the pastor talked about God placing us in specific places for us to shine.. i really hope i can shine for God in not only nursing/friends, but also my family.. i remember one analogy he gives.. in a room with total darkness, one small torchlight that's switched on, can make a huge difference.. i really like this analogy.. God is light, satan is darkness.. in total darkness, so long as we follow God, we need not be perfect, but we can still shine for Him.. people around us can then see this light, and come to know God.. he also say that God who is faithful, will ensure we are the light of the world, even if we are broken.. Amen! God is faithful! He will ensure us to shine His light.. the next thing that impacted me a lot was the part on the areas that can stop us from this promise on shining for Him.. among the 3, the one that most represent me is fear.. like the few examples he gave was exactly how i always feel.. we don't have that confidence, fear that we are not better than others, we think we don't have what it takes to be God's light.. and we must step out of this fear, if not we can't step out in faith.. for me is, i am too controlled by fear, fearing i may do the wrong things, more of things that has to do with God.. i dunno how to phrase this.. err.. things like leading roles, asking questions during sowing.. ya.. when i have this fear/anxiousness, sometimes in human tendency, i will choose to take control of the situation to make things right, at the same time, fail to trust in God's power.. yup.. the last point is sometimes we tend to forget that God only wants us to contribute what we have only.. He knows we are limited, He know we cannot do all things, there's a verse about God doesn't judge a person like how the world does, God sees our heart, our motives instead of the results, how well we did.. i think that is really one thing i really thank God for God.. i want to live like Mary.. she focuses on God instead of the situations around her.. instead of Martha who focuses so much on the surroundings - preparations, doing things right.. yup.. God looks at heart.. so long as we desire to shine, WE WILL SHINE! i want to be God's light, not letting this fear gripped me.. but allowing God to shine His light through me, so the others will be able to see His light..

S O W .. i think this camp was successful!!! lots of friendships were built, and is that kind of friendships that can grow deeper.. not only with the freshmen, but also with the seniors.. i feel so at home in buttercup.. haha! $30 wasn't wasted (a lot of food also.. but that's besides the point).. i pray hard that the friendship will grow, and also i pray for wisdom and discernment to know when is the right time to bring the topic to her.. i wanna bring this friendship to a higher level.. thank God for working in this group, people feel the love and care, which is the most important.. :)

a need to slow down.

from daphne's blog.. Shouldn't we as Christians grow in our AQs as we grow closer to God and if we understand that God permits us to pass through adversity with a purpose. Furthermore, enduring adversity is a necessary part of the life of a believer. Some adversity is allowed by God to discipline us and fashion our character. We know He is for us, and only against our sin. This in no way impinges upon our faith in His goodness. If I can always go to Him for comfort and deliverance in times of trouble, there's no need for me to let the ='( circumstances in my life put me down forever =D i agree totally! though sometimes i may complain when the situation happens.. but just take it on courageously and move on! God knows what's the best, He put the test/struggles for a purpose!! if i were to complain in any situations, feel free to tell me.. lol..

My Future is in your hands

My Jesus I’m found in you, You’re my Saviour You chose me Before the world And You called my name

I will go with You Through the valley I will soar above every mountain, I will trust Your Word deep within my heart I will live for You

I know my future in Your Hands All of my hopes and dreams and plans You gave me strength to live And faith to succeed I believe in You Because You believe in me

ONE THING

One thing One thing I desire One thing I seek To gaze upon Your beauty Your majesty

In the day of trouble You cover me In the secret place of refuge Lord I will sing

So I pray to You So I pray to You

Lord Your Name is higher than the heavens Lord Your Name is higher than all created things Higher than hope Higher than dreams The Name of the Lord

All I want is You All I want is You Jesus

this is from james' blog.. We long to be servants but are unwilling to leave the comfort of the lounge chair. My steps are hesitant, which side should I choose? On one hand, my heart’s desire is to give God my full surrender and let His presence and joy soak through my entire life. Yet on the other hand, the flesh takes a step back and defends: I won’t get to control my own life – I wanna choose to do what I want, and whenever I want. Such is the struggle of a double-minded man. i tried to step out of my comfort zone. but sometimes, i just choose the things i wanna do , so it isn't exactly steeping out of my comfort zone.. at camp, God told me this(which is one of my objectives), the best way to support your leader is to go all out for God and leader.. go all out to the extent of "to the ends of the earth".. lol.. not literal, but u get my meaning la.. God convicted me during camp, to step out of my comfort zone.. but what am i doing?!! have i really step out fully? nope.. God, help me out with this.. i really really wanna do more, but everytime i lack that faith and courage.. help me to step out of these..

As I ponder much about my life for the past month, I figured: hey I’ve been pretty busy (or at least trying to be busy with something)! But much busyness hasn’t achieved much business at all. You could say I was trying to have a hand in everything around me – yeah you guessed it, I pretty much didn’t accomplish anything. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

have i worried so much that i left God out of the whole picture? sometimes, i do.. the thing that God wants isn't how much church things we can do, but i think, the thing that He is looking for is out heart, do we choose to wait upon Him? it's not that doing these things are wrong, it's compelled by the love of God.. But look at what God says to Martha.. you're worried and upset, but only waiting upon God is needed.. So i really wanna choose what's best.. and i should worry less, and rely more on God.. For He knows what's the best, when i wait and rely on Him, then i can know what's the plans too.. yep..

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, FAITH LOOKS UP!!

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, FAITH LOOKS UP!! Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT) -- Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

read this from junwei's blog, i like this post... Galatians1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Say no to being an approval addict. yes, whatever i do, God, i wanna please you.. i wanna place my relationship with you above all the others.. i wanna say what you want me to say, even if it hurts.. after i had said what i should say, i feel relieved, but at the same time, i dunno what will happen to that r/s.. God, i trust those things into your hands.. i will not compromise (i try) the truth because i am afraid that it will test some friendships.. i will not.. the truth is the truth, nothing can change it..

Prayer is seek God with diligent effort + dedicated heart.

Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. the devil will not overcome what God wanna do in our lives!! fight the "battle" with the end (victory) in mind.. faith to overcome.. some strongholds that i have : self-confidence, self-esteem,self-worth, insecurity, over-sensitivity, etc..

am i putting too much pressure on myself?