this is from james' blog.. We long to be servants but are unwilling to leave the comfort of the lounge chair. My steps are hesitant, which side should I choose? On one hand, my heart’s desire is to give God my full surrender and let His presence and joy soak through my entire life. Yet on the other hand, the flesh takes a step back and defends: I won’t get to control my own life – I wanna choose to do what I want, and whenever I want. Such is the struggle of a double-minded man. i tried to step out of my comfort zone. but sometimes, i just choose the things i wanna do , so it isn't exactly steeping out of my comfort zone.. at camp, God told me this(which is one of my objectives), the best way to support your leader is to go all out for God and leader.. go all out to the extent of "to the ends of the earth".. lol.. not literal, but u get my meaning la.. God convicted me during camp, to step out of my comfort zone.. but what am i doing?!! have i really step out fully? nope.. God, help me out with this.. i really really wanna do more, but everytime i lack that faith and courage.. help me to step out of these..

As I ponder much about my life for the past month, I figured: hey I’ve been pretty busy (or at least trying to be busy with something)! But much busyness hasn’t achieved much business at all. You could say I was trying to have a hand in everything around me – yeah you guessed it, I pretty much didn’t accomplish anything. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

have i worried so much that i left God out of the whole picture? sometimes, i do.. the thing that God wants isn't how much church things we can do, but i think, the thing that He is looking for is out heart, do we choose to wait upon Him? it's not that doing these things are wrong, it's compelled by the love of God.. But look at what God says to Martha.. you're worried and upset, but only waiting upon God is needed.. So i really wanna choose what's best.. and i should worry less, and rely more on God.. For He knows what's the best, when i wait and rely on Him, then i can know what's the plans too.. yep..

Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, FAITH LOOKS UP!!