i read my past few posts.. it's kinda meaningless.. and why have i not post for a long time? first it's cuz i was too caught up with work, fail to put God in the centre and am too tired for anything else.. But God, i will balance my life well with u in the centre.. please keep me accountable to this.. before camp, i was really spiritually down, it's like i lost the purpose and meaning to life.. serious.. the feeling was like i was so lost.. but now, at least, i am back on track again, thank God for pulling me back into His love.. the praise and worship during the pre-christmas service really ministered to me.. There's this song that impacted me the most..

How could i live How could I live without You How would I survive Without Your love Without Your touch You're the One that heals me And cleanses my heart And sets me free Now i come right before You With my hands lifted up With my heart humbly bowed At Your work on the cross As You hang there and die You were paying the price For my life, For my life For Your love is higher than the heavens Deeper than the seas And all I want is You in my life No one else can satisfy my soul Can make me feel this way Only You Lord, only You

God spoke to me several things: 1) He reminded me again, the purpose for Him dying on the cross.. Not for any other reasons, but for our lives.. for my life.. (and yours too) this really touched me.. God questioned me, why am i living my life like this, why do i feel so insignificant? Have i not died for you? I've died for you on the cross so that u may be set free.. But why are u still dwelling in all those meaningless thoughts? I have already set u free, free from everything! I am in control of all things.. 2) He reminded me that no one else can satisfy my soul except Him.. I was reminded of all the times i failed, i was discouraged.. No one else knows how i feel, no one knows how much i struggles, except Him.. He is the only one who knows me inside out.. That is why only He can satisfy me.. i watched many dramas.. the dream guy kinda stuff is only in the show.. as a girl, i too yearn for those kinda trust, those kinda love.. as i was walking to nexus on saturday to help out in image, God reminded me.. He trust in me under all circumstances.. He is the only one who trust in me even when everyone don't believe in me.. He is the mighty hands that always protects me when things gone wrong.. He is the one that will hold on to this hand of mine, hence giving me the security.. No one can ever be like that, except in dramas, and except God.. Only God can make me feel this way... :) i really can't imagine life without Him totally.. Have you ever thought of your life purpose? The period of time when i was really leaving God out of the picture, i thought of that question.. Then i realised, life is meaningless and purposeless.. It's like work for the sake of living.. then why do i live? cuz i have to? then get married, have children, fall sick then die? what exactly am i living for.. Then now, when i have put God back into the picture, everything makes sense.. I live because God has created me in His perfect image, i live to serve Him and His kingdom.. He loves me, that why i live.. and also, the purpose is to bring this love that He has given to me and other fellow christians to the other people around me.. i have found this purpose, do you want to live life with a purpose? Taste the fruit before you comment.. This fruit is sweet, you will never regret "eating" this fruit..