at least i manage to carry the thing out today.. i still fear, but not as much.. i went to liyin's house earlier, so i can prepare my heart.. who knows i reach there ard 10, only left with like 20 mins.. i was super worried all those la.. den li yin help me pray.. thnx liyin! and also, on my way to her house, i was found this verse [1 corinthians 1:18-31].. it really assured me a lot a lot.. at least now got slight improvement la.. lol.. i keep praying for my own heart attitude after knowing i was to lead testi(though it's like nothing to some of u all, but to me, leading with confidence is a breakthrough), i was super worried and somehow afraid.. i dun want to lead with the just-get-it-over-and-done-with attitude.. so i was like why should i lead? then God showed me many many reasons.. i was amazed.. that's why i wun fear as much.. before li yin prayed for me, i was like telling her why i fear so much.. it was then i realise the barrier which i really have to overcome.. it is i scared i will screw up the whole cg, i scared i will not meet the needs of anyone, i scared ppl will judge, i scared i cannot meet their expectations...... my goal/the area i wanna grow in(keep me accountable) is do for God, not for man.. Do because God ask me to..