Today the evax was fun! though we started early, but only 5 possible contacts after several hours, i ended at 7 plus.. i was determined to complete all the surveys forms, with the possible contacts.. so many rejections i have to face, but i kept praying for suitable ppl.. hopefully, when i contact them, they will be willing to at least come.. disappointed with the little contacts i have obtained, but give thanks to God who helped me source for the right ppl, and developed my patience in finding the few ppl in that long hours, when my legs are breaking (thnx to my heels), and also thank God for providing the not-so-hot weather, and also thank God for giving me that determined attitude.. when it comes to things like that, i hate to give up just like that.. i told myself, if i never complete the few survey forms i was given with the possible contacts, i will not eat.. so when the others went to eat, i continued looking.. luckily, zhu yin accompanied me.. Thank God for her, i know she was hungry at that point of time too.. hopefully, this attitude will remain for the other things i do too..

desperate for growth.. life w/o growth, i feel so irritated.. but i need more discipline.. no more procrastination.. remind me also ok?

God, i need the assurance again.. that it's never by mistake.. i fear.. is it me that is really not up to standard to do it? help me to gain back that confidence of helping ppl to grow.. i know it will be done.. i will show u that i am serious about this, by proving it with actions, other than prayer.. 21 days.. short, but possible..

Looking forward to the end of A levels.. who will not be.. i am so disappointed with myself.. normally, during exam periods, i will really grow much more.. but during this A levels especially, i don't seem to grow as much.. (excluding the sermons) i feel so wasted.. A level is a real good time for me to grow, yet i have wasted it.. how? i feel that my dependence on God during this period is insufficient.. That keeps me thinking of the results.. that i will not do well.. i never put in much effort & reap what u sow.. so, i won't do well? haix.. disappointed i may be, but i am not gonna let this affect the remaining walk.. God, i need the courage and strength..

was trying to change the blogskin! stupid me, tried for sosososo long, until now, still can't.. thnx to si qin, who changed this for me.. thank you!! haha.. i am a computer-idiot..

definition of: Good - right; proper; fit Bad - inadequate or below standard; not satisfactory for use are we leading a good or bad life? good life - serve its purpose well, bad life - meaningless life.. do we live according to our purpose? If no, then why? Do you have a purpose in life? What are u living for?

i was thinking about baptism day last time(2nd march 08).. a wonderful & happy commitment to the great great God..

from left to right(top to bottom): 1) Joyce(me) -- Elise 2) Cai Xuan -- Joanne 3) Amanda -- Chloe 4) Kang Li -- Joshuarina 5) Li Tin -- Jona 6) Nicole -- Esther 7) Chicky -- Benedict

1 word/vision from you is better than thousand of words from people..

Oh man! Today's service was great!! the Praise & worship was great!! and the sermon is so awesome! pastor brendan kirby preach with the uber high energy level & with that great faith in God.. the scientific evidence are just so amazing.. God is just so awesome & amazing.. i didn't know there were so many galaxies.. and i really understand how complex is the human body.. if human body is not complex, i can pass bio with flying colours le.. haha.. at least i understand the sermon, the ATPase, the mRNA synthesis, the translation.. haha.. i guess si qin, michelle, bryan, vincent, they all dunno.. haha! see bio is good rite? lol.. Joking! everything we studied is what God create.. (phrasing is weird) Michelle! Really thanks for that heart-to-heart talk man! Shall have more next time.. haha.. Let's overcome it together!! WITH GOD!! Yea!!

Super slack now! how? after the econs paper, it feels as though A levels has ended.. but i still have another week to go.. God, give the the motivation to study again.. Remind me the purpose of studying..

Sleeping less than 7.5 hours a night was associated with a 33 per cent higher rate of cardiovascular incidents such as strokes and heart attacks, according to a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association's Archives of Internal Medicine. [i am gonna have that disease sooner or later.. lol..] We found that, overall, women who had a history of migraines had a 30 per cent lower risk of breast cancer compared to women who did not have a history of such headaches," said Christopher Li, a breast-cancer epidemiologist and associate member of the Hutchinson Center's Public Health Sciences Division in Seattle, Washington. [I got 30% lower risk of getting breast cancer.. lol..] Those who ate both quickly and to satiety were three times likelier to be overweight. [haha.. i eat slow but full, so less likely to get overweight..] Drinking warm milk, or taking a warm bath before bedtime, might also help. Explained Dr Lim: “The warm milk causes your body temperature to rise. When the body temperature cools, there is a sleep-inducing effect.” [no wonder everytime after i bathe (with warm water always), i feel so comfortable to sleep.. ] Tryptophan helps the body to produce serotonin, the “mood-lifting” brain chemical that makes a person feel good. “a little protein” raises tryptophan levels in the body. complex carbohydrates — found in whole grains, potatoes, pumpkin and yam — allow the body to uptake and metabolise tryptophan into serotonin more efficiently. [i love potatoes.. =) shld eat with almond next time.. so of u see me super high, u'll know why..]

The power of Your Name

The power of Your Name

Surely children weren't made for the streets And fathers were not made to leave Surely this isn't how it should be Let Your Kingdom come Surely nations were not made for war Or the broken meant to be ignored Surely this just can't be what You saw Let Your Kingdom come Here in my heart I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feetI will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name Surely life wasn't made to regret And the lost were not made to forget Surely faith without action is dead Let Your Kingdom come Lord break this heart I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feet I will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name Your Name Is a shelter for the hurting Jesus Your Name Is a refuge for the weak Only Your Name Can redeem the undeserving Jesus Your Name Holds everything I need I will live To carry your compassion To love a world that's broken To be Your hands and feet I will give With the life that I'd been given And go beyond religion To see the world be changed By the power of Your Name

Today Is The Day

Today Is The Day

Here we go! Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh I’m casting my cares aside I’m leaving my past behind I’m setting my heart and mind on You Jesus I’m reaching my hand to Yours Believing there’s so much more Knowing that all You have in store for me is good Is good Chorus: Today is the day You have made I will rejoice and be glad in it Today is the day You have made I will rejoice and be glad in it And I won’t worry about tomorrow I’m trusting in what You say Today is the day Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Today is the day Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh I putting my fears aside I’m leaving my doubts behind I’m giving my hopes and dreams to You Jesus I’m reaching my hand to Yours Believing there’s so much more Knowing that all You have in store for me is good Is good I will stand upon Your truth. (I will stand upon Your truth) And all my days I’ll live for You (And all my days I’ll live for You)

Struggle, struggle, struggle

STRUGGLE LOTS with studies and emotions!! i may have lots of careless mistakes, i may not even do well for A's.. though all these are unpleasant, but i am still happy, i still wanna thank God for everything.. His grace is sufficient.. I am just so thankful that no matter what, God is always with me.. I am assured.. And another thing is that I am so glad that God looks into my heart, and does not look at me with judgmental eyes.. He won't accuse me of the things i have not done.. and He is all powerful yet humble.. I admit i may be prideful in some areas, but i certainly dislike ppl who boast.. seriously, i HATE that attitude! It may be my "over-sensitivity" acting up again (waa.. like some illness), but i do feel very very very uneasy.. can't ppl just be more sensitive to the ppl around? is it that difficult? boastful? if u wanna boast, boast in your weakness!!

from's bryan's blog: "to make you bigger would be to make myself smaller

the act of placing my desires below your will

to put my comfort zone below people

it is to place emotions below family

the decision to place laziness below studying for you" all applies to me! i should follow.. at times, i tend to compromise a lot.. but compromise does not make me follow the path i should walk on.. yes, God will bless u, God will make a way, but i should do my best too! Why should God bless a lazy person? i am not saying He can't.. He has given His one and only Son, what more can He not give? But i don't deserve anything, everything i have today, it's by His grace.. that is also why God said that His grace is sufficient.. [jeremiah 2:17] have u not brought this on yourselves by forsaking the Lord when He led u in the way?

The bottom line, "What Would Jesus Do?"

Jeremiah 32:17

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

this usher team is totally fun to be with, everyone is serving, and crappy.. one of the most recent (today) stupid thing that we do is the that we're celebrating the birthdays of 4 ushers... one of them bought the cake, and the other bought the cards.. it's like.... i choose my own cake/i choose my own card.. haha.. james, who came at a later time, was shocked to hear that.. haha..

(photo w/o james and caryn)

oh my.. when i zoom into the pic, i realised, everyone is smiling, except timothy, trying to act cool.. (oops.. sry for suaning u again.. lol..) let's take photos every week..so nice..

[2 Corinthians 4] Treasures in Jars of Clay 1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

quote of wisdom from nicole (lol): "when we've exhausted our physical means, it's time for God's weapons to come out" so so so true!!

my parents celebrated my birthday with me too (despite having exams the next day), they ordered pizzas.. so happy.. like i feel so blessed.. very blessed.. and my auntie bake for me these two cakes.. so nice.. and so nice to eat.. and so pretty... =)

Celebrated my birthday with the Caregroup yesterday.. haha.. so fun.. so sweet!!! Thank you all.. after the normal caregroup, i was expecting like a game then celebration.. who knows, i got cheated... Bryan was so serious that time, when he asks us all to close our eyes and think of the questions he asks.. after he say and say and say, in the end say birthday.. after a while, i forgot wad he asks, but the processing was a bit slow at that moment.. haha.. i got fooled.. haha.. and i think anointing pass down! shee ting also thought it was serious de.. and she also close her eyes, and seriously think abt it.. the others "not-so-spiritual" ones(joking..) never close their eyes loh, den laugh at me somemore.. no wonder when bryan took out his phone, and he wanted to say those questions, but i look at the screen got nothing but the desktop.. never think of that.. haha.. but it's fun..!! and the board pui wah, amanda and wei en did was very nice.. they never tear our the price tag though.. and the necklace too was nice.. amanda says the shiny cross means shine for Christ.. so meaningful.. and the "our daily bread thing".. is also very nice.. next time can read it day-by-day... yea.. train my discipline too.. haha.. this is the card they gave me.... so pretty rite? the cardboard itself is like so expensive le la.. $4.30.. from popular.. lol.. the pot is in the jars of clay.. in [2 corinthians 4].. in the above few posts.. and this.. the daily bread thing.. i thing the whole set is like so cute.. and got the god's promises too..next is this necklace.. they know i like all these stuff, then they buy for me.. so sweet.. i wore it to service today.. so nice.. shiny shiny, and it's a cross.. Thank you ppl!! Love u all!! Through the affirmation, i realised a lot more about myself.. haha.. i didn't know i was like that.. the part on child of god, and the simple love de.. haha.. lol.. it's me, and i dunno abt myself, but others know.. lol.. maybe i do without knowing ba.. cool lei.. or maybe i am too slow to process.. haha.. not that i dunno what i am doing...

Today is the day the doctors take me out from my mother's womb.. haha! celebrating birthday is fun.. i just dun like the sing birthday song part... it make me feel super weird/pai seh.. (though i have gone through it 18 times) God.. how to celebrate my birthday with you? Despite all the struggles in studies??? my wishes: - really want a breakthrough in my "patience" with everything - want to score well in A's.. (though it seems like it's impossible now) - really hope that my family can come to know God someday - really hope that the Cg will grow as one, and more ppl will come and join us.. the feeling of growing together is fun. haha! like in kindergarten like that.. haha - want marie to grow much more.. really hope that i can meet her someday - for myself, want to be more christ-like.. slow to anger, slow to speak, but quick to listen.. - wanna bring more ppl to know god.. though it seems like it always fail...

From James' blog.. Even he says it's difficult.. man! The confessions of a biology student.

November 5, 2008, 9:28 pm Filed under: Musings.

I’d say that was one crazy paper. (i agree!!!)

I think it’s perfectly fine to be affected by the outcome of the paper. (after all, you could tell from the faces of the people walking out of the exam hall) If I wasn’t affected at all, chances are, I’m dreaming. But I think it’s terribly important for us Christians, especially, to know when we are being concerned and when we step across the line to being worried.

And I think I can’t emphasize more on the fact that because of things like this that happen (well hopefully no more crazily tough papers ahead, but in case there are…) all the more I need to pray, all the more I need to spend time with God.

If I can spend 1 hour glued to the television set, then surely 1 hour of quiet time is not too demanding, right? If I can spend hours being worrying, complaining and talking about how the paper was so tough, then surely spending some time with God is not too much to ask for. (i should do this more!)

I’ve said this and I’d say this to myself and to God again: I’m gonna trust You with everything. Doors You open, no one can shut. Doors that You shut, no one can open. God, lead me to wherever You deem best and fit of my life, assure me of Your sovereign plan. I pray for Your peace that no man can snatch, no exam can rob and no amount of time may steal from.

Keep going ya’ll!

have your way

This Yearning Deep Within Me Reaches Out To You Your Oil Of Joy For Mourning Soaks Me Makes Me New Chorus: And I Will Go To Your Secret Place Bow My Knee To Your Glorious Throne Have Your Way In My Heart, Oh Lord Have Your Way I Need You, Holy Spirit Fire To My Soul Consume My Total Being Jesus Take Control

MUST READ! VERY AMAZING!!!

i think it's so amazing today.. (despite that stupid paper!) firstly, i keep grumbling to God, and i even doubt Him.. but u know what, when i questioned Him, He answered.. (can be referred to the sermon) i asked a lot a lot of questions, why this why that, why why why! after i finish asking a qns, He answered.. and He answered all my questions.. in the end, i feel like whoa, i got nothing to say le la.. cuz He really answers everything.. my heart hardened again, i doubt again.. is it really you or my mind? so i somehow didn't take it to heart, but i take it to mind.. (dunno how to express this) then, i just read bryan's blog, out of all the blogs that i can click on. it's like a prompting for me to go read his blog while i am struggling to complete all the bio(killer) chapters.. and i was rather shocked.. or quite shocked.. it's the same thing God told me.. He knew i nvr take it to heart.. this is a part of Bryan's post today: "i heard from some math paper wasn't as easy. =/ i have no idea how to encourage you guys but hey, i know everything will be alright yeh?

anyway, when you look up into the sky tml morning, take time to realise how small you just are. then you should take the time to comprehen just how big God is. then you will began to realise just how small your problem should be. just where is your magnifying glass today?" God told me at around 6 plus 7 pm, He asked me, how big is your problem? then He reminded me of this story i read before.. about a poor beggar outside a rich man's house.. but when they died, the beggar goes heaven, and the rich man is in hell........ it doesn't matter how much u had fare on earth, the only thing that matters to God is whether u love Him, and choose to obey Him.. and also, He ask me to take Him out of that box i always place Him in.. i always limit God, hence limiting how much He can work in my life.. Magnify God, not magnify the problems(in previous sermon) This really shows how much God use many many ways to tell you that He is the one talking to you, and He wants to guide you and wants to convey His words to you.. He'll use many ways, till u get the message.. Secondly is Vincent.. He is also another one online, and got nothing to do.. after the paper, i was super frustrated, super disappointed -> in a very very bad mood, that i feel like really punching someone hard(in my heart).. He encourages me, that God will make a way.. When God told me to take Him out of that box, he also reminds me that He will make a way.. But that time i chose to doubt Him right, He uses vincent to say this.. Wahaha! i don't feel that moody anymore! instead i feel refreshed, or rather, very amazed by God and what He has done.. COOL!!!

a few more days is the day God breath His breathe into me.. aiya.. i dunno how to phrase it.. excited for that day to come.. but that excitement died down due to CHEM PAPER 3.. haix.. how can i have the mood to celebrate when the next day got stats paper? grrr... maths used to be my favourite subject, a subject that i can do well.. but that was a thing of the past! (last year) now, i just hope for the best.. i trust my results into God's hands.. He will make a way!

start with the end in mind!! 20th november here i come we are already victorious from the start God is in control i know my future's in God's hand why am i still afraid? why do i still fear uncertainties? God, help me through this.. remind me time and again that you are in control. let me carve this in my heart You are real, and anything is possible.. i will trust in your plan.. but assure me once again, that whatever the plan is, it's good for me..